Every Story Has a Beginning

Andrea, one of Melany´s friends, has a second blog called "I´m Just Sayin´" where she pretty much posts all her insights on life. (It is really funny, you guys should check it out). Part of the credit for the DB-Files goes to her, however, I´ve been thinking about creating a place where I can post my own ideas for the longest time, a place where I can go whenever I need some creative space or even some emotional venting. (Not that I need to do that often-after all, us guys are not supposed to get emotional, EVER, but just in case).

No time is better than the present to start such an endeavor, and since we are staying in the Canary Islands, Spain for another 6 weeks, I think it pertinent to dedicate my first post to my beloved and misunderstood country. Whether you know Spain (maybe you served as a missionary many years ago, or came here as an exchange student-hoping you would get to eat lots of Mexican food-sorry about the disappointment), or you think Spain is in between Mexico and Cuba (is that geographically possible?), you may find the next paragraphs enjoyable.

We all think our country is the best! I LOVE the islands, the people, the food, the weather, the beaches, the lifestyle. Don´t get me wrong, I wouldn´t exchange them for anything (well, except my wife and children who have opened to me the beauties of places such as Oklahoma...sorry about the sarcasm). Anyway, the fact that I AM from the Canary Islands does not mean I don´t notice our idiosyncrasies, our way of doing things that make me laugh out loud, especially after living abroad for such a long time.

Sidewalks in Spain are way too narrow. If you plan to walk 5 miles daily pushing a double stroller do NOT come to Spain, especially because every other street is under construction which requires that you step down and walk alongside the moving cars. And forget about handicap ramps! If dealing with dog poop every so many steps, and mean old ladies that yell at you as they see you coming down hill "straight at them" is your idea of having fun during your vacation, then you are in luck. By the way, don´t even dare take your kids out without holding their hands every time you wait to cross a street. (Now here´s a math problem for you, how do you accomplish that when you push a stroller and walk with three other kids?)

Restaurant napkins in Spain are a JOKE! More than napkins they look like tissue paper, so if you have to wrap a last minute gift while grabbing a bite in Spain, you will save a buck or two. Don´t even try to use them for what they are intended for, to wipe your face or hands. The first one will disappear just as you reach for it. The second and third napkins will run the same fate. Maybe by number four you will accomplish your goal. I recommend that you tear a piece of whatever you´re eating and use it to clean yourself. It's faster and more efficient.

Asking for directions in Spain will make you lose time and not the opposite. For some reason, old people like to emphasize everything they say to make sure you get the correct information, which usually leads to greater confusion. So, if you´re looking for a certain street, just buy yourself one of those handy city maps (don´t actually have to buy one, I believe they are free at any Tourist Office). If you choose to ignore my advice, you will find yourself listening to the longest explanation ever about what streets not to take and what corners not to turn on in order to get to a street that ends up not being the place you were looking for in the first place! People are nice, but don´t be fooled. Just because they sound convincing, doesn´t mean they know what they´re talking about.

Public transportation is GREAT. That´s what I like to tell myself now that I don't have a car. Buses, taxis, trams, boats, they are all available to you for a small price. In addition, they include tobacco smoke, angry old ladies (probably the same ones that yelled at you when you almost ran over them with the stroller), crying babies, and bums with stinky armpits and breath. And all of that is just an added bonus. You never know what your taxi drive will fill you in on, but they all have an opinion of the United States...especially the new president. Oh, the joys of public transportation. By the way, I have the best story about a bus ride I took with my now brother-in-law Robert, but that's another post!